http://www.beaubeasley.com

http://www.vaflyfishingfestival.org

Angling Publications - Index

Angling Publications - Magazine - Index

12
for example—and expect the guide to put everything
together for them before the trip begins. Brian Shumaker
of Susquehanna River Guides (www.susqriverguides.com)
in Pennsylvania tells of a particularly challenging client who
wanted Brian to row the driftboat, find the fish, and teach
her to cast simultaneously. Shumaker, who sheepishly admits
that he’d already had a rough week before this client came
along, replied, “I’m a guide, not a magician.”
Strangely, clients often forget that fishing involves a great
number of factors beyond the guide’s control. Raining? Ultimately,
he’s a guide, not God. Cold? What you wear really
matters; your guide can recommend, but he cannot dress
you. Said you could cast but can’t? Then it’s not really your
guide’s fault that you can’t catch anything. Unrealistic expectations?
One client spent a week fishing at a saltwater lodge
only to refuse the charges to his credit card when he returned
home. His reason? He’d “caught only ten tarpon.”
Many clients are gifted with the ability to ask inappropriate
questions. Here’s a primer for those who struggle to
recognize the difference. Appropriate: “Which flies should I
bring?” Inappropriate: “Can I map you on my GPS? I want
to bring my buddies out here later.” Appropriate: “Should
I vary my retrieve speed?” Inappropriate: “I want to be a
guide on this river, too. Can you give me some pointers?”
With questions like these, you can imagine how quickly the
tension can build in a smallcraft.
Guides get other memorable questions, too, but they
don’t mind them because they make for great stories later:
“Who is going to row us back upstream?” Or, “What did
you do for a real job before you became a guide?” And my
personal favorite, asked of a guide in Wyoming: “When do
the elk turn into moose?”
Yes, the guide’s life has its challenges. Like farmers, they
must invest heavily in equipment with no guarantee that the
weather will allow them to collect on that investment on
any given day or even any given season. They must shell out
serious money for liability insurance—and remember, they’re
responsible for their own health insurance and retirement.
No paid sick leave, no comp time, no paid annual leave.
The desk’s looking better and better, isn’t it?
So I’ve stuck up for the fly fishing guides—now let’s hear
it for the outdoor writers. Come on, people, this is a tough
job. You crank out article after article for demanding editors.
Yes, you get to go on free trips, but you spend all of
your time chatting up the guide to flesh out your article and
taking pictures of other people fishing. And Murphy’s Law
dictates that when you do get to take that trip, you learn that
the fishing was fabulous last week. You finally get a chance
to cast a line, and it gets tangled in the bow line. You lean
over to pluck it out, and an errant wave pitches you head
over heels into the Chesapeake Bay, where you bob like a
cork until your guide comes to my—I mean your—rescue.
Talk about demoralizing. Yes, the life of an outdoor writer
is not always easy, but I’ve learned to hedge my bets: I fish
with experienced guides who have learned to expect the unexpected,
which, on any given trip, may or may not include
pulling a cocksure outdoor writer out of the drink.
Beau Beasley (www.beaubeasley.com) is the director of the
Virginia Fly Fishing Festival (www.vaflyfishingfestival.org).
His first book, Fly Fishing Virginia: A No Nonsense Guide to
Top Waters, is available in fly shops and bookstores.
JEFF EDVALDS PHOTO